just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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