she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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