youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
