I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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