Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
How naked do you want me to be?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
