I am in a vortex of obligation.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
