why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
