Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
