his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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