Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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