JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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