Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
