If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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