Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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