i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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