Pappa wants mamma naked
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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