hotel room ftw
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
