Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
