i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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