i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
