hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
