So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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