i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
