the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
