Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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