i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
