i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
