Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
