I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
