There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
