I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
