If i come over, it means nothing
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
love makes seman taste better
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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