I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
