if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
