the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
