Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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