Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
