I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
