I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is wine microwaveable?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
