its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
