So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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