I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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