her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
