her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
