I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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