i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
you made out with another girl for some wings
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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