things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
