Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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