can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
