You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
