so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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